June 12, 1946 - March 3, 2008
David, you were a wonderful artist, loyal friend and great conversationalist. You were an ardent animal lover and you brought colour and life to my memories of Newtown in the 1990s. You got me on to Annie Dillard, and my friend Anna on to Tom Spanbauer. Any subject - beauty contests, illness, lampshades - was made fascinating by your particular take on it. This page is to thank you, David, for being the gorgeous, intelligent, thoughtful person you were. I should say, that you ARE - because as far as I'm concerned you're still here. Love, Tracy.
This note, hand written by David, was submitted for this page by David's dear friend Jane French.
Portrait of Sue Taylor by David Haag. David painted and drew a lot of pictures of Sue, including nudes.
David worked on variations on a theme. For a while he was painting a room, a table and a cat open to the night sky. For one of my birthdays, he created a version with a pink and grey galah peeping over the wall. The flowers in the vase are birds of paradise - flowers that appear repeatedly in his work.
A birthday card from David, Andy (dog) and Simone (cat).
David Abello was MC for David's send-off ceremony at the TJ Andrews funeral parlour on Enmore Road on Tuesday, March 11, 2008. He said: We’re here to celebrate the life of David Haag. After some introductory comments, a number of David’s friends will speak. We’ll hear some of David’s favourite music. Then some of you may want to say something about David and there’ll be an opportunity for that.
David Robert Haag was born in Santa Monica USA on the 12th June 1946, to Grace and David Sanger. His birth father passed away shortly after his birth. The couple he would know as his parents were Delbert and Betty Haag. Betty and Grace were sisters and the Haag’s adopted him as an infant.
David’s life had many phases from Santa Monica, eventually to Sydney (he first arrived in October 1981), many loves and lovers, before and after HIV and some of those periods will be touched on by others of you here today.
One thing he loved doing was to make endless lists, something which dated from his fantasy life as a child (something that along with his love of literature predisposed him to become a librarian). I’ve been looking through his lists of favourite quotes (easily tens of thousands) over several decades. I’ve picked out just a few because I feel they capture something about him on the long journey that brought him here.
To begin with there are many quotes that make reference to his difficult childhood and adolescence, issues that he struggled with and that ultimately lead him to abandon Journalism in favour of Psychology when he was at College, this one from the character “Jim” in John Irving’s novel, Hotel New Hampshire
“With a degree in Psychology I could do worse than become the caretaker of my father’s illusions.”
Many make reference to his struggles in early adulthood with his heterosexuality and his homosexuality and the trajectory of his sexual identity. This one from Tom Spanbauer, The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon (and this one has a language warning)
“Fucking is the same way as with everything else – what you think you’re doing is not what you are doing. What you think you’re doing is sucking and penetrating and kissing, holding and coming. What you are doing, though, is telling a story.”
A great many quotes over those years are about death and dying, and of course his sense of humour. It’s clear that David is not planning to go to Heaven, as this quote from a Kalahari Bushman suggests:
“When we die, we die, the wind blows away our footprints, and that is the end of us.”
Some reveal his resistance to dying such as this Peter Matthiessen quote from The Snow Leopard:
“Why is death so much on my mind when I do not feel I am afraid of it … the dying, yes, but not the state itself. And yet I cling to what? What am I to make of these waves of timidity, this hope of continuity, when at other moments I feel free.”
And another more humorous explanation, from Mark Haddon’s novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time
"I think people believe in Heaven because they don’t like the idea of dying, because they want to carry on living and they don’t like the idea that other people will move into their house and put their things into the rubbish."
After David Abello's eulogy, Jane French, Stella, Helen Seeton, Sue Taylor, Trevor, Suze, Pamela Anderson (not that Pamela Anderson), Martine and others, including me, shared thoughts about David. He lay in the middle of the room inside his cardboard coffin, beautifully decorated with colour photocopies of his paintings, including the one of my cat, Prince, looking out to sea. David's paintings were hanging all around the walls, and there were vases with birds of paradise flowers. As I walked in, someone handed me a card David had written recently but never sent - I think because he'd forgotten the name of my recently-acquired white labrador, Taro, & was waiting to write the name in before he sent it. (He'd met Bertie, my black lab, on a visit to Bathurst.) The card had a picture of a black lab on the front with the words, "WILL LICK FOR FOOD" printed over the big pink tongue. Inside, David had written: "Dear Tracy and Steve, I found this card during 'THE BIG CLEAN' at my house - &, of course - thought of 'Bertie' & thought you'd like it. I have photo of him & '?' (forget) up and it makes me grin every time. All of the positive flow-on from recent events continues. It's like (after all these many years) I finally found my centre & can let the chaos and 'noise' go & appreciate & accept & be here now. Love you, David, Andy & Simone."
Linda Diamond wrote these words to be read at David's send-off: David and I spoke almost daily. We discussed movies, books, politics, Hollywood gossip, and all of you - David's friends.
We were often superficial in our brief assessments of people, i.e. we examined their appearance, smarts,
sense of humor, and then their kindness ratio. We had enough sense to realize kindness is the most
important factor.
I am blown away by the kindness shown David from all of you and the very different things you each did to
help him - Helen renting him a lovely home, Sue feeding him healing candies or cookies, the "kids" helping him when he needed it without judgement,
Zoe being very "cluey ", Trevor who massaged him and
drove him around in his very comfy car, David who took
him shopping and cleaned his home so efficiently,
Tracy who just knew the right thing to say, and of
course Jane, who always helped...
He was very appreciative, as am I.
Your kindness honored David.
He was VERY special and I miss him already...
Beverly Frank wrote these words for the send-off: To all of David's Australian friends: Thank you for meeting today to commemorate his life. I will especially remember David as my life-long friend. We met when he was in high school, and I was 26 years old. He lived next door. Through the years we laughed, cried, and talked with each other. Both of us are big talkers and often fought for air space for our long diatribes on life's purpose. We both loved animals, movies and reading novels and shared these experiences over a span of 45 years. He was a very bright and loyal friend, and I will miss him very much. I admired his courage. He would have something witty or scatalogical to say at this point, but I could never match his sarcasm.
Beverly Frank
Marina del Rey, California